Opinionated With Reserve

I remember the moment when I realized that I am quite opinionated.  I'm pretty sure it was in high school, and I thought "Wow, I feel pretty strongly about certain things."  Which is silly, granted, because everybody has opinions.  Yet I wasn't very assertive or vocal back then or now, but at least around friends I would argue my cases and want people to see it my way.  What I've realized since then, is that everybody a.) has opinions and b.) wants you to see it their way.

The thing is, everybody thinks that they are right, right?  About any and everything, if you think about it.  Do you think oranges taste better than apples and that Pepsi is better than Coke?  Do you feel strongly that your sports team deserves victory over the others?  Do you agree or disagree with "Mopar or no car"?  Whichever way you swing on these, you do believe you are right, don't you?  Yes, some of these might be simple preferences which you can easier shrug off as "Yes, I prefer the taste of Pepsi and oranges, but I don't think there's a 'right' or 'wrong' answer, it's just my personal preference." But what if you take it to a deeper level, like your political or spiritual beliefs?  What about ethics, what you believe IS right or wrong?  There's less arguing those, right?

But everybody thinks that way, everybody thinks they're right.  You don't walk around thinking you're just wrong about stuff.  So, I think I have more and more become reserved when it comes to my own personal beliefs, especially the big picture ones.  I keep most of that to myself, unless someone specifically asks or is interested in having a conversation to discuss it.  Otherwise, it's kind of a waste of time, right?  Most of the bigger beliefs you hold are woven pretty deep within you, and it's just plain annoying if someone tries to tie in their own beliefs onto your fabric.  OR the opposite happens, especially in social media (namely Facebook), and suddenly you're sharing something personal that people will either agree with and read, or ignore altogether because it doesn't pertain to them.  In that case, I'm just not sure I see what good it does to post/share it in the first place.  Which is definitely ironic because this very blog entry is my opinion on opinions, and here I am posting/sharing it which means it will probably either be read by those whom it makes sense to, or ignored completely by the vast majority, heh.

So I suppose I should come up with a purpose or overall point here I'm trying to make, because what I'm not trying to do is convince anyone of anything except to maybe just keep this in mind:
Everybody has opinions/views/beliefs which they believe are the unwavering truth; so instead of trying to force and spread your own ideas on others, maybe it's more beneficial to seek/ask/learn about others, and to try to understand why they see things the way they do.  Above all else, respect other people's viewpoints.  That's all :)

Smiling Adds an Indefinite Amount of Attractiveness

I was having one of those "reminiscing" phases earlier tonight, trying to be careful not to drift off course and cross the line into the "regretting and dwelling upon" states.  I was looking through some old pictures, which I enjoy from time to time.  What I noticed above all, that connects with something I've been noticing a lot of in the real-time world lately too, is that a simple smile adds a ton of attractiveness to anybody, regardless of physical traits.  Now, I fancy myself a pretty positive person these days, but I do have to admit one area I still lack confidence in is physical appearance.  But it's a funny thing with that; the whole smiling thing seems to erase some characteristics you or others might see as "flaws" in your appearance.  I noticed it on older pictures of myself, and I've noticed it on some of my friends' pictures on things like Facebook.  I've noticed it in person too, when you see someone smiling.  Even if you don't have the prettiest of smiles, such as myself.

Without trying to come off sounding too philosophical, it's almost like that facial expression is a window into the true essence of the person.  And who wants to see or be mad or sad, right?  A smile brightens a picture, and a smile brightens a mood.  When I was younger (and perhaps am still a bit guilty of to this day), I used to get scolded by the elders in my family for not smiling for pictures.  A large reason was I knew I didn't have a nice smile, with my crooked teeth that weren't anywhere near pristine white.  Somehow I thought faking a grin would be acceptable and look better than me with a smile.  I really didn't like taking photographs.  Honestly I still don't for the most part, I'm just not very photogenic.  But...

Man, I look back now and realize how I cared way too much about what others saw and thought of me, and how I really allowed that to make me way unhappier than I ever had any right to be.  A smile illustrates and expresses positive and good qualities like confidence and just plain happiness in its purest and most unfiltered form.  Have you ever found yourself smiling or laughing so big or hard but you just couldn't help it?  I'm sure you have, and that's good, we need more of that.  Forget everything else, forget money and stress and what anyone else thinks about anything - and just smile.  None of that other stuff is worth anything, but a smile is worth a lot more than you might think.  Another great thing about them is that they're totally contagious.

I have since gotten braces and have learned to smile more, even though my teeth and smile remain subpar.  There's a popular quote floating around, that varies but essentially goes "what other people think of you is none of your business," and sometimes it's elaborated to include "if you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life."  I've seen several variations and authors, but no matter who said it or how it was originally worded, it certainly remains true.  I've learned firsthand that if you make it your business, it will grab you and hold you down, and limit anything you ever do.  This is why a smile is so attractive, because it exudes confidence and says "I don't care what you think, I'm happy."  It also tends to spread the happiness around.  What I think of myself right now though is that it's getting late and I'm rambling, so I'll end here.  Remember to smile, my friends.